The OutCast (Bully Fanfiction)
by MaxJackson47
Summary: Peter Kowalski has had enough, after some select incidents and nightmares he decides life isn't worth it, unaware of the chaos his death will create. (Petey/Kirby) WARNING! Contains very minute references of rape and bullying and suicide. Yay!


Peter Kowalski was in the common room, he was awakened by his nightmares, once again. He was softly crying, knowing if he woke up the jocks or even Jimmy he'd get his ass kicked for sure. The more he thought about his future the more it ate at him. He'd have to deal with Gary, when he went to get his job, Gary would be there. When Pete married his boyfriend Kirby Olsen, he'd be there berating about his love for boys. When he adopted his first child, whenever he had sex, caught himself looking at other boys, every little thing, he would hear some nagging comment from Gary, and he'd have to hold back the tears. The only person who knew about his nightmares was Jimmy, and that was because Jimmy forced it out of him one night. 'Not tonight' Pete thought 'tonight is the night I escape it all, everything Gary has done to me'. Pete walked to his bedroom, and looked at the lovely face of Kirby Olsen. Pete walked over to Kirby and pressed his lips to Kirby's lips, and Pete kept their lips for as long as possible, loving the softness of them, never wanting to let go, but he had to, because life was unfair like that. Pete went over to the small desk at the front of the room and began writing his final two letters.

 _'Dear, Everyone_

 _If you're reading this letter then I've done it. I wish I could tell you all the reasons, but I can't be asked to write a novel right now. I never liked this place, I didn't have many friends, and now I feel like I'm more alone then anytime before, I don't feel like I can regain myself again. I feel much more hurt than anytime before, I feel like I have no options left again. I feel like I'm losing myself wherever I go, like I'm never free from my past, from Gary Smith. His voice rules me now, I hear his taunts, his laughter, his insults, all I want to do is die, just die and never ever live again, not after this. My life has been shit, it turned for the deep-end since that day, even as I think back I'm trying not to wake up my roommate. Everyone knows who did it, or at least I do, why'd you do it Jimmy? Why'd you do it? For popularity? For your desperate and wanting ego? All I had was you, you were all I had, all I needed, and you took that away, was that too much to ask for? Well I hope you're happy, I hope you wanted this, or knew this would happen, because now it is, and no amount of 'I'm sorry's or 'I love you's can help me, make me forget what you did, nothing can make me rethink what I'm about to do. So I'm sorry, that I wasn't enough, that I was the inconvenient lover for you, that I cramped your style, or whatever I did to make you throw me under the bus, I hope you're happy Hopkins, I sincerely do,_

 _From, Former Head Boy, Peter Kowalski'._

Petey was sobbing and had to take himself out to the front door of the dorm to continue, knowing someone would hear him, maybe even Jimmy himself, or Kirby, a pang of guilt hit Petey like never before, he had to stop and think of what he was leaving, when he was done here. Pete looked down at the two pieces of paper and remembered how Jimmy had heard him planning on committing suicide ' he stood in the hallway, which seemed desolate, but evidently was not. Jimmy was in a locker, hiding from the Prefects when Petey was rambling about killing himself. And when Jimmy had made his presence known Petey was pale and was about to have a heart attack when Jimmy said "do it FemBoy! You'd just be showing us how weak you are!" By now the, nearly desolate hallway was packed with students from the Art class, Music class and Biology class, they all clearly heard Jimmy's shouts. Petey was having an anxiety attack and was beginning to cry, then, everyone began laughing. Petey was now full on sobbing as he ran out, he ran as far as possible, while being on school grounds of course. So he ended up behind the bleachers by the field, Petey was terrified about what would happen the next time he went to class, he was hyperventilating after that thought. The he heard a lovely, soothing, gentle voice, although he was humiliated in front of the whole school he wasn't terrified of this voice he had come to love while in the hallways "hey... Are you okay?". And for the first time, the first real time, Peter Kowalski felt his heart throb at this voice, a voice he had come to recognize, the voice of Kirby Olsen'.

Pete looked at the blank sheet of paper and had to hold the tears in once more, or risk wetting the paper, so he began writing once more.

 _'Dear Kirby Olsen_

 _I am so, so sorry I'm doing this, I really am, but I have no choice, I really mean that. I want you to know how much I love you, I love you so much, I would do anything for you, I really would, but I can't do that anymore, not with where I'm going. Whatever happens I want you to know that you're the best thing to ever happen to me, literally. I wish I could tell you, and I never have the reason, and you don't have the time. I KNOW you'll get far in life, you're cute, athletic, smart and so sweet, don't let anyone put you down, not me, not your jock friends, not Jimmy Hopkins, NOBODY! You're the best boyfriend in the world. Please Kirby, please, just do one thing for me, move one. I know it might not be easy, but just find a boy who is willing to do what you ask them to. Find yourself a boy who is wiling to take of their clothes for you, who is willing it do 'it' with you, someone who can be there whenever you need it, I wish I could have always been there, because you always tried for me when I needed it, and I know, no matter what else happens I'll always love you for that. I only have one regret, that I never lost my virginity to you, I wish I could, I wish that I never had... That done to me, that I could save my ultimate present for you, and only for you. But I show my love in any other way I can._

 _With all my love, Peter Kowalski.'_

Petey had already cried everything out of him, so now all he needed to do was finish it all. Pete put the note addressed to Kirby onto a piece of tape and stuck it to the front of Kirby's pajama shirt. Then he put the other one on the desk With that thought he began drudging up the stairs, as slow as possible, to reminisce about his entire life, arriving at Bullworth, meeting Gary, meeting Jimmy... That night, and everything else was such a blur of time. Petey finally arrived at the roof of the boys dorm and peered over the edge 'this is the moment. This. Is. It.' Pete took a deep breath, and climbed onto the horizontal bar, that was holding the vertical bars up. Then as he cleared the pointed edges of the gate, he took a final deep breath and jumped. He flattened himself out and just before he hit the ground he smiled "I love you Kirby Olsen, I love you so fucking much". Then a sickly thud, and that was it, like he hadn't existed, the sounds of the night were uninterrupted, until 7:00 that very morning came around .


End file.
